


You shall know me

by EarthCallingAlice



Series: Collision: Darkness and Light [1]
Category: Thor (Comics), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Belligerent Sexual Tension, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, First Time, Frottage, Het, M/M, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rival Sex, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-02-17 14:11:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2312456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarthCallingAlice/pseuds/EarthCallingAlice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Odin’s disappearance, Balder is made ruler of Asgard by Thor’s request. He wonders at what price to his romantic relations, which leads him to fall into the arms of an unlikely individual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You shall know me

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fic in this fandom. I’m a Thor fan, particularly the Walt Simonson era. I admit I’m not as up to date on current continuity, but this story takes place during Simonson’s run. Thanks to **calm_tailor** for the beta - much appreciated! I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Balder, Loki, Odin, Thor, Amora, Heimdall and Skurge all belong to Marvel Comics and Disney.
> 
> Originally published on January 9, 2012

***

Odin’s fall hung heavily on many a heart in Asgard. Balder, the newly appointed ruler of said land stood on the balcony and looked out into the night sky. He tried to concentrate on its beauty, on the richness of the deep blue-grey colors, the sweetness of its smell. He started to think it was all for naught as the events of the past several days lingered stubbornly in his mind – The seizure of Karnilla’s realm by the frost giants, her capture and eventual rescue (for which he played no small role in the latter), the battle for the human souls that were so cruelly and unfairly taken by Hela, that lead to the brave sacrifice of Skurge, and finally, his call to duty to serve as ruler in Odin’s place.

He looked down onto the street, paved with heavy stone. There were splashes of light that were reflections of the torches that outlined it. It was so quiet and not a soul lurked. It was almost as if the spirit of Asgard was taken with Odin that day, he thought solemnly. The realization weighed heavily on his brow as it furrowed in morbid contemplation.

Thor was meant to rule, he was the original choice by birthright. But Thor felt strongly that Odin was still alive and vowed to search the ends of the earth for him. In the past Thor also spent much of his time in Midgard, what the humans called Earth. His heart always seemed to be divided between the two realms. It was his mothers land. His loyalty was admirable, if a bit strange to him, for what could be better than Asgard in all her glory and beauty, their own beloved home?

Happy was he to be there for his people, but he admitted that the nights grew colder without Karnilla at his side. He missed the Norn queen. He felt alone. He had his duties and she had hers as ruler of her own realm. Suddenly, he sensed a presence, one that was hesitant and it seemed was not intent on making themselves known very soon.

“Do not worry of spoiling my peace, for I’ve yet to find it this night. I assure you, whatever your query would be a welcome respite.”

“Even from one such as I?”

Balder froze. That voice. The sound was like bitter fruit to him. He did not know **he** would be here, but, of course, this was a big event. And anything to do with a change in power in Asgard would always attract the attention of…

“Loki.”

“Yes, Balder. It is I. Or should I refer to you as my Lord now? For one who has just received one of the highest positions in all the realms you do not appear too happy.”

The white-haired man frowned at this, not sure how he felt about one such as Loki to have been privy to his moods. He was not to be trusted. He straightened his posture. “I’m surprised I did not recognize your usual slither as you entered. Aye, I have been touched by a bit of melancholy this evening. But then, should I feel otherwise in your presence?”

“Why, Balder. You wound me. I’ve come to congratulate you.” The false sweetness in the tricksters voice was maddening.

'More like deceive us while plotting your next betrayal', Balder thought darkly. “Wasn’t it you who had a look of absolute horror on your face when it was announced that I would rule Asgard? Besides, it’s a wonder I don’t strike you down for causing my death and sending me to Hel. You nearly destroyed me.”

“But you were not. You are stronger now. And dare I say, you have an edge to you I’ve not seen before. Besides, you already tried that once. I was happy to help thrust you out of your code of nonviolence.”

The god of light bristled under his calm demeanor. “I may show you that edge again…”

“Are we so quick to forget how I helped Thor and Odin in our glorious battle against Surtur? Is that any way to treat your ally?”

Balder considered this grudgingly. He had to admit that Loki played a big role in their victory. That had to count for something, certainly.

“Forgive me for being rude. You are right. I thank you, on behalf of Asgard herself.”

Loki smiled. “Besides, what I did to you is not what troubles you. At least not this day.”

“It is not?”

He shook his head. “Nay.”

“All right.” Balder tugged at his shirt as if to straighten it. “If you must know, I am missing someone’s presence quite acutely right now.”

“Ah, I knew you fairly recently began keeping company with Karnilla, Norn queen.”

Balder knew Loki wasn’t much on romantic matters, though he noticed there was always a sensuality to him, despite his constant schemes and grabs for power that kept him from any sort of romantic relationships.

“Word travels swiftly to your ears, Loki. You know much about someone you claim to hate.”

“I usually know more about those certain individuals.” He raised his eyebrow; a smile tugged one end of his lips, but then he tutted. “Yet, I think hate is a strong word.”

“Ever you would toy with my mind.” He sighed before he looked out into the sky again, his ice blue eyes drawn to the stars.

“And you are ever the noble fool. Only you would prefer love to power. If I had the throne…”

Balder turned back around quickly. Loki thought he would make good on his word and indeed strike him down. But it did not come. Only heated words.

“But you do not, and I did not ask for counsel in such matters.”

“… I certainly would demonstrate such power with more ambition.”

“I love this city and it’s people. I will safeguard it with my life. My very honor demands it, though, I admit this loneliness has crept up as uninvitingly as you have.”

“Hmph.”

“All father Odin still rules. I’m just watching over his lands until his return.”

“And eternally humble. How it churns my stomach.” The raven-haired man made a show of looking disgusted.

“I do not expect you to understand.” The god of light said with some frustration.

“Oh?”

“To care for someone or something other than yourself. All you think about is furthering your own agenda.”

Balder waited for Loki’s response. Little did he know he picked at a memory in the trickster’s mind with his words. He thought back to many a year ago when he stumbled onto Balder in a garden, the birds serenaded him with their song. He could not help but be drawn to the sight of it. He had the nerve to ask Balder his secret language with animals and he was dismissed so callously.

Loki appeared to be contemplating this, “And if I did? You weren’t to believe it…” and then he shifted suddenly, as if he snapped out of some trance. “Bah, the worst thing I can think of is becoming some lovesick sniveling thing.”

If Balder did not know better he could have sworn Loki looked hurt but it soon faded to be replaced by his usual embittered outlook. He granted Thor’s adopted brother a small smile. “It does have its rewards.”

“So does a land to rule.”

Balder rolled his eyes. “How long will you be staying?”

“Not long. I shall be gone come morning. Good evening, Lord Balder.” With that he dismissed himself as suddenly as he appeared.

The white haired man shook his head. He wondered if there were other forces that could drive such a man, ones beside wickedness, treachery and selfishness. He wondered if he is capable of something like love and loyalty, or the simple pleasure of another’s company. He also wondered why that thought became so important to him now.

In the Library the Enchantress looked at the wide array of books that were presented. The very few times she has come here (for she was usually unwelcome) she would do her best to attain the knowledge of the arcane arts that were contained in them. She ran her fingertips over the books that aligned the shelves with a frown that adorned her beautiful face. She sighed and looked away from them, as if the sight pained her and walked over to an overstuffed sofa and sat down. She mournfully stared at the jug of wine that was kept near the seating area. She reached over and grabbed it, peered into the container and uttered half-hearted chants. As much as she tried she could not complete the spell. All motivation had gone.

There was a time when Amora would not hesitate to use her power to have a little fun, but she could not stop thoughts of Skurge. Skurge, that fool of a man. Skurge, her beloved fool of a man. How could he leave her? But, he was no fool. He was a brave man, perhaps the bravest in Asgard. She began to feel horrible about how she treated him when they last spoke, and she would never be able to apologize because he was dead. Gone forever. Tears began to well up in her eyes.

“What is this, Amora? What is this new feeling that plagues a goddess such as you?” She was not used to feeling so humble, though others have tried to instill it but failed. She placed the jug back on the table and buried her face in her hands.

“Amora!”

“Heimdall?” She said to herself quietly. She felt annoyed. Asgard's watchdog had shadowed her steps since the death of her Skurge. She could not stand his pity; he tried to remove her from her chambers before and denied her the right to mourn.

“Amora? There you are. Come on out, it’s a beautiful day and you’re to spend it with me.”

“I will do no such thing, you boorish oaf!” She spat as she rose from her seat, hands placed quite stubbornly on her hips. A piece of blonde hair fell in her face.

Heimdall sighed and shook his head. “I think he would want you to.”

“He? You know nothing. Away with you. I’m tired of your smothering.” But it was useless as he once again grabbed her around the waist, threw her over his shoulder and removed her forcefully from where she stood.

He smiled, quite pleased with himself as she banged her fists against him in protest. “I’m sorry, Madame, but I cannot do that.”

Balder had repeated the same sentence over and over as he tried to read the enormous book that he held in his hands. He could not concentrate. He sighed as he placed the book aside. He saw that the candle he lit was almost burned completely out so he lit another. As he was bent over and finished lighting the new candle, he straightened back up with a start and turned around as he heard a familiar voice.

“What are you reading?”

“Loki.” He completely schooled his features to one of indifference. He did not want the God of Mischief to know how uneasy he was with his presence. “I was just reading up on some history of the norns.”

“Ah. I heard you have developed a more personal interest in them recently.”

Balder sighed. “Oh. Did you? Again, I’m impressed with your knowledge of me. I suppose it would do no good to deny it. I have met them.”

Loki’s eyebrow rose at this. “You did? Why, I have never even met them myself. I should be jealous.”

“The sisters showed me many things. That everyone has worth and a part to play. Even those who appear to be endlessly insufferable.” Balder smiled softly at this.

Loki laughed despite himself.

“Care for refreshment?” Balder offered as he grabbed the jug of mulled wine and poured the trickster a mug.

Loki paused a moment. “…Thank you. Yes.” He grabbed the wine and began to sip.

Balder in turn poured himself a mug. As he drank, he swished the pungent liquid around his palette before he swallowed. He could not help but note a strange after taste. “Sit with me, please.”

“Are you sure? To be so close would sully your purity, surely.” Loki sneered.

“Loki. You have aided us all in our most important battle yet.” The god of light pointed his hand insistently towards the sofa.

“I… Oh, all right. Fine. If you insist.” He sat down with flare to make a show of being inconvenienced. “Really, I have no need of such sentimentality. I did what I did because it benefited me best at the time.”

Balder became serious, and thought about this with some sadness. He wondered why he should suddenly have a personal stake emotionally, in Loki’s treacherous ways. Again, he noted the strange after taste of the wine. He also felt drowsy. Odd, considering he did not even finish the first and only mug of wine he had that day. “Is that all it was? Surely, it must have also come from some concern for your home.”

“Of course, Asgard is no use to me in ruins.”

“I do not understand you, Loki.” Balder shook his head. He noted that feeling of frustration he felt earlier, but amplified. He suddenly felt eyes on him. He looked over at the God of mischief. Those eyes were dark as coals right now. Rather lovely they were. He felt them mocking him. He noted how dark his raven hair was. He was not considered conventionally handsome among his people, but his fine elfin features were intriguing nonetheless. He would dare say they were alluring. And there was something to be said for being attracted to danger. He found Loki had that same air of the forbidden that Karnilla had, but tenfold. He was a mystery, a puzzle of a god, despite some predictability in his villainy. Loki was a struggle for him, when all too often many of his fellow Asgardians were only too willing to fall into his lap, as bewildering as it was at times.

“Believe me. The feeling is very mutual. But, come now, surely it is too late to have that answer shock you.” He smiled, it almost seemed as if the mischief-maker was thrilled by Balder’s response. He noticed the darker man’s gaze sat on him longer than usual.

“Yes. I suppose it is.” He shifted his body; he noticed how he was closer to the other god than before. By his doing or Loki’s, he was not certain. “But, do you feel nothing for anything or anyone?”

“As I said, I have no use for sentiment.” By Loki’s body language, he looked like a wolf with raised hackles, yet his facial expression was soft, almost sensuous. He shivered as he felt Loki’s knee brush against his as the dark-haired god moved, placing his mug back on the table. “Have you noticed how horrible this wine tastes? I would expect better than this swill in your halls, Balder. You’re mooning over companionship has left you to lag in other areas, obviously.”

“But, companionship and love, Loki… as I said, has many rewards.” They were both so close now that their breath mingled. “What are you afraid of?” Balder noted a flush on the other god’s face he had rarely seen.

“Fie!” Loki shouted as if the word was a battle cry. The god of light felt himself pushed onto the sofa.” What is it you want, O’ Balder the Brave?” His voice sounded parts vinegar and honey.

“I was just wondering if perhaps your bed gets cold at nights. For where is the joy in all your laborious fruits with no one to share it with?”

“Why do you care?”

“It is my nature to ponder such things.”

“Well, ponder no longer.” Loki said as he pressed his lips to the white-haired god.

“Mmph.” The kiss was clumsy, even violent in the beginning, but then it turned to something, dare he hope, more heart-felt? He returned the kiss tenderly and explored the other god’s mouth quite thoroughly.

Balder tried to pull away, but Loki would not let go. He was being held down, pressed into the cushions. “Mmph, Loki. This is not something to be rushed.”

“You started this, I will finish it my way.” And with that Balder felt himself pressed back into the furniture.

“Indeed.” Said Balder. In between panting breaths, he noted the dark-haired god in a similar state as he hovered over him, crackling with energy.

“I am not one of your. Simpering. Maidens.” Loki nipped his bottom lip between words as if to add something more tangible to his statement.

“Quite true.” Balder chuckled. He felt Loki unbutton his shirt and kiss his neck, run his hand underneath, along his chest.

“I’m not a bird to be easily soothed with your song.” He hissed as he nipped his ear.

“I would not be foolish enough to think - - otherwise.” Balder gasped as he felt Loki press his crotch against his own. The other god’s cock was hard even through the fabric, much like his own. Balder could not help but notice Loki made love almost like he ruled his land, swift and almost unforgiving, but it seemed more out of an inner resistance on his part. What was he scared of indeed? Despite his protests to the contrary, perhaps he was being foolish. What would possess him to have such lustful feelings towards someone who has always sought his destruction? Yet here he was, gasping and moaning underneath him.

As Balder undid Loki’s shirt in turn, he noted how much more body hair he had than other gods as he stroked it. Then he tilted his head up slightly and pressed his lips to the dark-haired man. He found it returned with intensity as he tweaked a nipple. He felt his hands being grabbed and raised above his head, as the god of mischief pressed his groin harder into his own. Harder. Faster. Their movements became erratic, Balder felt that familiar flutter and swirl in the pit of his belly before it finally took off. He came with a soft cry and Loki was soon to follow, though, he voiced his pleasure differently as it came in the form of a groan and a sigh.

“You are mad, Loki.” Balder said softly as he tried to catch his breath. He stroked the other gods hair.

“No less mad then you it would seem. For what would you have to gain by provoking me like that?”

Balder looked aside a moment as if to contemplate those words. “A moment in our lives where we are not bitter enemies.” He looked back at Loki and smiled.

Loki stared at him, eyebrows raised.

“To find another use for your lips other than telling lies. It seems they are good for other things.”

Now Loki blinked and then he laughed, a huge hearty laugh. “I may have misjudged you, Balder.” He bent down and kissed him. “You amuse me. Perhaps there is hope for you yet.”

He returned the kiss. Balder could have sworn he saw a brief flash of tenderness on his sharp, thin features before he erupted into laughter again. But, he knew better. Or did he?

Both gods were surprised out of their reverie as Amora entered. She put one hand to her mouth and gasped, eyes as wide as two gold coins.

“Amora. I bid you welcome.” Said Balder, a bit punchy still from recent activities.

“Well, “ said Loki as he looked at the Enchantress with some suspicion, “does one of Odin’s ravens have your tongue?”

She walked over towards them, still draped over each other, rather sloppily she noted. She made a show of looking disgusted just to add to their discomfort. Just as she suspected, she surveyed the table nearby. The jug of wine was half gone and beside it sat two mugs stained red. “Oh, my.” She chortled. “But, I thought… I mean, I did not finish…”

“Did not finish what woman? Speak.” Said Loki. She said nothing, just continued to laugh. He wearily looked over at the jug she inspected. He sighed. “Oh.”

Balder’s face came alive suddenly with realization. “Of course. That explains it.”

“Quite. “ Loki looked annoyed. He got up abruptly, digging one elbow a little too deeply into Balder as he did so.

“Loki, wait.” He followed the other god out of the room into the hall.

“Be away. I find you amuse me no longer.”

“Wait!” Balder boomed. He shone brightly as the light from within emanated forth, lighting the hall. Loki stopped, temporarily blinded, then looked around and couldn’t help but notice how magnificent it looked.

“How did you do that?” He turned and saw a very determined Balder. There was much passion put in that simple word. He shivered when he would not have before. But now he saw the god of light in a new way and it could never be erased.

As suddenly as Balder erupted in white light it quickly faded. He smiled mischievously. “Just a little trick I picked up recently.”

“And what a trick it is.” Loki raised an eyebrow.

“But that is not what I wish to discuss. Amora said she did not complete her spell, so the wine would not have nearly as much effect as it should have. It would have not been much more effective than simple drunkenness.”

“I see.” Loki stared at him, not revealing much in his eyes. If that was intentional or not, he could not tell.

“ And the wine only served to inspire something that was already there. I have pondered you often since we spoke that night.”

“Balder, this is-"

The white-haired man put his hand up to halt him. “What I mean to say is, I do not regret what happened.”

“Lovely. How fortunate for me, eh? Do you expect some sweet words for that?”

“I expect nothing. I just wanted to make that clear.”

Loki’s face became serious as he walked over to Balder and placed one hand on the side of his face. He felt as if he was being inspected under that dark gaze. Then suddenly Loki smiled and patted his cheek. “Until next we meet.” The trickster god laughed lightly as he walked away, leaving Balder even more to ponder.

***


End file.
